The Illusion of Chemistry

You can't define it, you can't predict it, you don't exactly what it is and it can disappear before you know it. Yes, chemistry can be an illusion.

In his video "On the Illusion of Chemistry" dating coach Evan Marc Katz asks us to think about that person we had the greatest chemistry with. He asks, "Where are they now?"

Most of us can answer, "They are gone." Poof, out of our lives!

Intense chemistry tends to equal a great physical relationship. It's short-lived, and usually burns you before you know it. Reminds me of the Tim Burton story "Stick Boy and Match Girl in Love"

Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
He liked her a lot.
He liked her cute figure,
he thought she was hot.

But could a flame ever burn
for a match and a stick?
It did quite literally;
he burned up quick.

Intense chemistry does not make for a successful relationship. The sex is amazing, but you typically have very little else in common. The differences eventually come between you when the chemistry disappears.

"Chemistry is a feeling. We stake everything we have on the possibility of having this chemistry, " says Evan.

I understand I may be missing out on a successful relationship if I base my decision to date a guy on whether or not I feel chemistry for him.

I took Evan's advice. I went out with one guy who I didn't feel chemistry with on the first date. He was an interesting guy and we had alot in common. On the second date, I did feel some chemistry. Third date, some chemistry. Fourth date, not so much. Fifth date, no chemistry. 

Was my first impression accurate? Did the fact that he didn't try to kiss me until the fifth date slowly extinguish any chemistry? Maybe he didn't feel any chemistry for me and was giving it a chance to grow?

I decided not to go out with him again. I didn't flirt with him, he didn't flirt with me. Sure, we were getting to know each other, but something was definitely missing.

My date said he's been in relationships were passion develops later in a relationship. I could see if we had been friends first and then one day we couldn't hold back our attraction any longer…but, we were dating.

Attraction, kissing, chemistry, kissing…that's part of dating, and getting to know someone. If you don't have it while dating, how you can you expect it once you are in a relationship?

category: video clips
tags: dating kiss men singles singletease women Evan Marc Katz

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